There's a place in the center of my heart, where no one goes, not even I. It's the place that Catherine with a capitol "C", once touched in the Spring of our love at Washington D.C. in the Spring of 1957 in a way only she could. With only her fingerprint there, it is a lonesome, painful place that I have difficulty ignoring and hardship in living with. It is a place where not even I go.
It is a place where long ago Papa saw his daughter-in-law, beautiful Catherina, smiling at him from when I mentioned her name. A place, possibly that reminded him of Valenta, his childhood sweetheart from Sicily from so long ago. Its a warm place in the troubled heart of his beloved son. I know I have made him sad, because his lovely Catherina lives in my heart only in memory.
As long as I live, whomever I love, from now on, to the end of my dance, she will never know of this place in my heart that no one else can fill. The empty space that is taken by the memory of my Catherine and her fingerprint where she planted it. The empty space in the heart of her 'Sailor Boy' in dress whites, that I guard. To prevent entrance. By anyone. It wouldn't be fair.
God help me get from here to there. I don't want you to erase her memory from that place, its all I have left, just help me honor our love for the rest of my days and help Papa to understand and forgive his tormented son, for not keeping his Catherina in that special place in his heart. Help me understand what I have done and help me know some peace before I die. Pray for me Lord. You too Papa. I know she is.
Dominic caruso... (c) September 7, 2000